Saturday, November 04, 2006

Why I don't pray negative

I had a minor debate with a friend a while back-she was saying that she hoped that certain businesses would go out of business and that she prayed for it regularly. I took the whole sharing the love of Jesus approach and said that I don't pray negative things. She argued back about how there is Biblical evidence on smiting one's enemies. And yeah,I see it. In an OT framework.

But still, I can't seem to bring myself to wish or pray negative for others, even those who are deserving of it, in my opinion. It seems to work out that when I act in accordance with those bad feelings, it always backfires. I could say, "dear lord, this scum sucking pig is embezzling millions, please have them exposed and brought to justice." Never fails, but usually the opposite of what I want to happen ends up happening. Scum sucking pig will get off.

Which leads me to the next bothersome issue of praying negative. You reap what you sow. Funny thing about that is that if you're sowing negative thoughts, you're bound to reap them. I've already gotten a lot of negative yucky stuff. I don't want or need any more in my life.

So today, That Man was asking my opinion about our friend's divorce. No longer on the reconciliation bandwagon, but out for blood. And at first, I was slightly irritated with God about why He had me interceding and thinking that I was making a difference only to have this come up again. Fortunately, God is good about reminding of things like the real point of prayer-conversing with Him and getting to know His heart. Anyway, friend out for blood was mentioning that the other party has done some bad things that technically could have some charges filed. That Man wanted to know what I thought. My thought is this: absolutely, the one party did wrong. But the judge is smart enough to figure it out on his own, and has, in fact already done so to some extent. Right now, our friend is the victim. By not fighting dirty back, it exposes the evil of the other party-but by repaying the deeds eye for eye, so to speak, it makes our friend no better than the other person. And in stooping to that level, it is no longer about what's right, but about revenge. Revenge doesn't really have a place in the heart of a Christ follower.

Which brings me to my final, and somewhat unrelated, thought about praying negative. It seems like every time I think in the direction of wishing something bad would happen to one of my enemies, they end up getting the things I want the most. For example, this one gal who is just plain rude to me and likes to throw the fact that she's got a very wealthy hubby in my face. I remember thinking one day about how it would serve her right to have that fall apart somehow so that she could understand what it meant to live like ordinary folk. Shortly thereafter, he bought her a brand-new house that was simply gorgeous. The exact layout that I've always wanted for myself. Coincidence? I don't believe in it. As I look at the situations where I've been negatively inclined towards people, they end up with my stuff. Not the bad stuff, the good stuff-the stuff I've always wanted, but never gotten.

I have to ask God, why do you keep doing this? And I'm starting to realize that He's doing what He can to get my attention. Yes, they are mean, nasty, icky, yucky people. But He loves them. He wants to bless them. And I had a much larger point to go with it, except that I'm so sleepy, all I can remember is that my bed is really comfy and has clean sheets. I think it has something to do with the idea that He wants me to see things with His heart. He wants me to learn to love them as He does, and to be able to rejoice with Him over their triumphs. Uhhh... yeah. I'm not making sense now, am I?

Time for bed.

2 Comments:

Blogger Jana said...

Guilty again. May-un. You're hard. LOL

In all seriousness, I don't really believe in praying negatively, either. Normally when someone is ugly to me I'll say a prayer for the Lord to reveal their vileness to them so that they can seek Him in all things--or something along that nature.

This morning, though, was just one of those mornings. You know the kind. I was running late and everything was going to crap. And then this dude in a big black truck passed me on our little narrow country road and scared me to death. I prayed that he'd get a speeding ticket (because he really was speeding and driving recklessly) and then just for good measure, I prayed that he'd be beligerent with the cop who pulled him over (you know, if he DID get stopped for speeding) and they'd either cite him for that or arrest him.

I felt bad as soon as I thought/prayed it, but at the same time, I thought, I'm justified. It's not as though I'm wishing him harm, right? But in a way I was and I'll have to talk to God about that tonight.

Thanks for pointing that out to me, hun.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Danica/Dream said...

LOL.

I can't tell you how often I pray similar prayers. *smacks self*

However, a while back, I was sitting there, yelling at(and mentally cursing) this idiot driver who was irritating me. Go figure. We realize by now that I have issues with people on the road,yes?

Anyway, I had to wonder what that person's life was like-if they crashed into a pole, injuring no one but themselves (Yep, I'm harsh), would their family be upset? Would they lose a provider? Was it just a moment of stress over needing to race to that second job to pay the bills? So then I demoted my mean thoughts to them getting a ticket. And even though I have already mathematically and practically proven that speeding does NOT get you there any faster, what if that person did get a ticket? That would make them late to work, and what if that person was close to getting fired?

Since I'm a writer, I replayed about hundreds of these scenarios, and I realized-do I want my prayers to be responsible for those things?

Maybe the person would learn a lesson, but maybe the person would just go on with his or her life, chip on the shoulder, thinking, man, the whole world is out to get me. ICK.

I have to remind myself of these things often, because there are so many (IMO) icky people doing icky things out there. And as much as I want justice, I have to remember that our God is a just God, and in the end, He WILL sort it out. But the last thing I need is to be one of the ones needing the sorting. I'll get enough of that on my own, anyway.

2:32 PM  

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