Sunday, December 10, 2006

Enemies who won't be reconciled

Spent some time talking to our soon to be divorced friend. He wants so badly to be reconciled, and yet, all she wants is revenge. It's weird, advising someone to go through with a divorce, when I believe so strongly that divorce is a bad thing. But I know it's not safe or healthy for him to pursue a relationship that the other person does not want, and her only aim is to hurt him as much as possible.

I wonder, how does this fit into how we should be as Christians? I read so much about forgiveness and turning the other cheek. I'm of the opinion that you can forgive someone, but it doesn't mean you have to subject yourself to more pain. Or put yourself in danger. Ultimately, that ends up hurting the other person as well.

I told him, as we talked, that none of us knew what would happen down the road. It's not unheard of that divorced people end up finding their way back together. And maybe it'll give the Lord time to work on her heart, as well as his, and give them both the healing they need.

Ultimately, though, I know that there are always enemies who won't be reconciled, marriages that will stay forever broken. And in the end, the thing we have to remember and be accountable for is that we did everything we could to honor the Lord. You can forgive seventy times seven, but if they don't want your forgiveness, there is nothing you can do but give it to Jesus.

We've all got relationships that are in the "won't be reconciled" column. There is nothing that we ourselves can do about it, other than giving it to God to work in our hearts-as well as theirs. It doesn't give us license to mistreat the other party, but it also means that we do not have to flog a dead horse.


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