Friday, February 09, 2007

It's the stress time of year, sorry!

I really do mean to pray more for our enemies, but we're in the busy part of tax season, so I don't get as much of a chance to get online and stay online other than my online job, as I would ordinarily do. It's pretty pathetic when I'm scheduled 20 hours a week, and this week, I'll be at over 40.

Is it time for a vacation yet?

Talking about my stressful life does have a point, though. ("I have a point, I promise!"-Legally Blonde) How often do we say that we're too busy or too stressed to pray for something? We'll get to it later.

I'm so exhausted right now that I'm getting little to nothing done. It's been over a week since I've had a day off. Throw in a growing family that can't take care of itself, my online job that also takes a chunk of time, and my dream of becoming a published author, I wonder, when will I EVER have time to just sit and be with God?

I was grouchilly yelling at God yesterday, because one of my old enemies contacted me. Freaked me out. The crazy thing is, she acted like we were long-lost best friends. I was kinda mad about it, because as I ranted in something I almost posted, but didn't, my memories of her were of how mean she'd been to me. The only respect I can honestly say I have for her is that she at least had the courtesy to do it to my face, rather than behind my back. So I'm asking God, why NOW? Why, when I am stressed and tired, and I'm barely hanging on to the life I have, does He have to have some enemy from my past contact me?

While the simple answer was that even now, I am to abide in Him, the more complicated answer came from my favorite church billboard. Driving home today, it said, Love adds and subtracts, but never keeps score.

That hit me right between the eyes, because here I am, feeling frustrated that God decided to bring this person who'd been mean to me back into my life, without so much as a, "Gee, I'm sorry I said and did all those horrible things to you way back when," and I'm just supposed to suck it up and say, "Great to hear from you, blah blah blah." Sounds an awful lot like scorekeeping to me.

Maybe I don't quite have this enemy thing figured out yet. That, however, will have to wait for another time, given that I have five minutes to change clothes and head off to work.

I'm abiding, Lord... or at least trying to.


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